This is the question I struggle with daily right now. That very question is the reason I have started this blog! Its the very reason I have struggled with feeling any sense of purpose in who I am. So what does in fact happen, do you just be a lump and fall into a depression, I have been there done that, that did not seem very effective. So how do you live differently when you realize that the life you knew is now essentially not coming back? Well of course I do not have the answer to this but let me tell you what I've been working on. Of course I am working on my activities that I create to learn to love myself, I believe they will be powerful! (I think I will work with my t on creating some new and different activities). Aside from always reminding myself that I am ok as I am, I have been taking steps to feel a sense of purpose in my life, but I want that purpose to not define me. So I have started this blog and I have started a blog about sewing I love sewing and why not share that talent with others. Also I am going to work on a small business selling the clothing my mother and I make with a web site. I also think that I want to do something to volunteer. And with adding all these things I have to keep reminding myself that my actions as in doing are not who I am. I am me I am not a seamstress, a blogger, a business woman those are just actions. So my work is to define who I am, who we as women are. I think that is a good activity for the activities page create a definition of who you are, or a mantra. Something you can remember and repeat to yourself in order to remind yourself that your worth does not lie in external things.
Today I received an email and I do not think of myself as a religious person but I do think of myself as a spiritual person and there was a line in this email that struck me it relates so very much to what I have had on my mind. Let me share it with you: (this is from a forwarded email I do not have the exact source, although I do know there is a similar passage in the christian bible).
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. To get something you never had....you must do something you never did.
Seeing as I do not think of myself as religious I am going to talk about this in more a a spiritual manner (spirituality is a whole other topic I'm going to tackle on its own but I think I want to touch on it here for a minute). My therapist is always saying to me that in the very core of herself she believes that nothing bad or negative ever happens without an assent happening. I think that this email sort of says the same thing. I do believe in a God and Goddess and I do believe that they can have impact on your life. So maybe what this is saying is that even though I/you thought that the life you had created what meant to be perhaps there is something better coming your way. Perhaps, you will learn to love yourself, perhaps you will then take your love and share it. But I guess if we are to experience that ascent or something better we first must let go of what was. So that means in the case of this blog letting go of the self hate, in my case my life of sorts that I had built so calculated and with what I believed was the purpose I had, I must step out of the hate or dislike that has come from this trial. Because if I am not open to what the universe is trying to bring to me then I will miss what is coming. My point in sharing this is that I think that even in the face of your life being turned upside down and shaken up then dumped out and you are left to put it back together, it is important to be open to growth and not to close yourself off to what can be. Life is full of surprises and perhaps even this event that has taken my life I built from me, just perhaps through my work of learning to love myself I will come across or be given something new and better.
I think my temporary mantra that I am going to say to myself is I love myself for who I am, I do not need external activities to define me. For now this is my mantra. I will of course work on that and make it different and better but for now whenever I feel self loathing coming on I will repeat that mantra to myself. What is your loving mantra, what can you say to yourself that will help you step out of a moment of hate and learn to accept the things that are coming to you? If you want to share your mantra put it in the comments :) I look forward to getting a dialog going here
Good night or morning (lol) fellow love learners!
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