I was given this!

I heard something today that sort of resonates for me.  A girl on MTV (yes I watched MTV) true life there was a girl who has touretts and her condition is pretty severe, but she had learned to deal with it seemingly well.  She has a support system of great friends and family and she is able to laugh with people about her condition. This resonated with me b/c I haven't yet figured out how to deal with my change. And perhaps its not just about learning its about doing its about choosing a mind set and sticking with it.  Like if I decide I will succeed in oh for instance a clothing business and a small writing career then keeping positive about the process and stopping negative thinking might indeed be helpful.  I think my therapist has been trying to tell me this, but it took a teenager on tv for me to understand. That it isn't that you have a disorder its how you choose to deal with it!  So how do I choose to deal, I choose to move forward and remember my inner strength and that I am worth it regardless of my previous notion of who I am, I am still a person an important person at that, and I deserve to succeed and have love and anything I want in my life.  My life has not ended b/c of my injury, and even if this injury continues and never subsides then I still am worth all those things.  So I say to you all what is it that you have to deal with and how can you choose to live with it.  ( I suppose you could tell me negative things you can do to cope but I don't think that is helpful so please don't post if you only have negative responses as this is about discovery).  I vow that I will repeat to myself that I am a strong woman that regardless of my injury I still deserve to live and live as I choose, and that I can be successful just in a different way.  What do you say?

Struggles

All I can say is OMG learning new ways is so hard!  I wish a magic wand existed to make the things I want to happen, happen.  I mean wouldn't it be wonderful if it wasn't hard to achieve the things that we perceive we want?  What makes it such a challenge to take the leap and force change? What is that hidden piece that stops us from moving on?  I don't have the answers to these questions yet, in fact I'm still working on them! I thought that maybe posting here that it was a struggle would make it more real and concrete.  Maybe I am not the only one who struggles with change.  Even when it seems like it should be easy.  I said that I needed to make a schedule for myself and so far I have been unsuccessful in this I have made steps though like I have painted and I have done some sewing I just haven't achieved these things how I imagine that I want them.  I know a schedule is good for me and I plan to explore what it is that is getting in my way.  I think I have some issues that are stuck inside and I haven't figured out yet, and for me I think that some of these issues have to do with my resistance to having to work within new limits.  I afterall, didn't have any limits before this injury.  I was free to do life as I wanted and had nothing getting in my way.  So I am sure this has something to do with it, but that can't be everything and how on earth do you jump over that hurdle I mean that isn't a small hurdle it is rather large to take in that you have to make concessions and do things differently or even in ways that you do not really want to.  So my work now includes learning what is getting in my way.  I will keep you posted on how things are going with this issue.  My painting from the activities page is in the works, and I have to work more on my schedule so I can achieve the things I want.  I have made the smallest start by acknowledging what it is I am doing right and trying not to judge what it is I am doing wrong. So hopefully things will pick up although I have to promise myself and you all that I will not judge myself harshly if I do not live up to my own expectations things will happen and I must allow them to unfold and not judge my progress.  I am ok as I am, things could be better and I can change but I am ok as I am.  I think that statement feels nonjudgmental maybe!

Well good luck to those of you who are in the process of working on change!  What changes are you working on I am open to dialog about this issue I think that healing and change for women can often occur with support doing it alone is hard.  That is part of the reason I started this blog to have a place women can share and get support and not struggle with learning self love by themself.  So if you have somethings you are working on please share and hopefully we can all learn together!

Cheers